reset

"My only regret is that
I didn’t tell enough people
to fuck off."

— My 92 year old grandma. (via lipstickbabe)
755,095 notes

littlezombiekid:

the-uncensored-she:

Women should NOT be forced to feed their babies in a bathroom, all because we live in a misogynistic, porn-warped society that’s been brainwashed to believe that female breasts used for anything other than male pleasure is “indecent”. Support public breast feeding and end the porn culture.

Forever reblog


275,077 notes
hootaloo:

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency


YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD


911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN


YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS


911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER


MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.


YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ


TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.


yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.
 width=

hootaloo:

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency

image

YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD

image

911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN

image

YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS

image

911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER

image

MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.

image

YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ

image

TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

image
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.

image

yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.


481,889 notes

merkkultra:

do men have resting bitch faces as well or do they not have negative characteristics ascribed to them for putting on a neutral rather than a deliriously happy facial expression


68,988 notes

romeyooo:

adorkablenerdvana:

sometimes i think that i am not so stereotypical of an american

and then i remember that i consider the coke freestyle machine one of the greatest modern inventions

i mean look at this thing

image

it’s beautiful

over 100 choices, computerized mixing, one spout, touch screen, ice dispenser

image

like wow

have u ever seen anything so wondrous and beautiful??

#sydney   
197,090 notes

realhomo:

countingtoabillionslow:

Is anyone else completely terrified by the concept that you could, someday, meet someone who actually genuinely wants to spend the rest of their life in love with you?

#me   
399,785 notes

yes-shit-watson:

stalkingyermom:

flawlessspecter:

flowercrownimpala:

i wonder if actors ever get their scripts and are like

well this is fucking stupid

image

is this a reaction or an example

both


417,464 notes

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now


190,044 notes
Dicky Bird Gobber Assembly
briesbe.tumblr.com
Fake ginger trying to keep it real.